Some people might say, well isn’t
that great? You never have to be alone! Sure, it’s a lot of fun. But exactly
that, you never get to be alone. It is nice, I’ll admit, when you’re having a
bad day and need a shoulder to lean on or just a distraction. But what happens
during those times when you just feel like being by yourself?
Living in a sorority house requires
endurance, it’s a long-term persistent stressor. The accumulation of many
repetitive acute stressors creates a stressful, unpreferred environment to live
in. You want to go out with your friends, but you have so much work. It’s
always those nights that you have an exam tomorrow that your friends are doing
something actually worthwhile and you can’t participate. It is literally FOMO (Fear
Of Missing Out) every single night.
While people know everyone has work
to do, there’s a constant pressure to be fun and exciting. People like to be
around someone who makes them laugh, someone who has a positive aura about
them. But can I just tell you how difficult that is? To be faced with stress
from classes and living arrangements, and on top of that to be happy so other
people enjoy being around you? There are obviously behavioral and emotional
outcomes to this physiological stress. In addition to that, your directed
attention is fatigued because of these constant distractions, both real and
perceived. With this increased need for directed attention, it is difficult to manage
yourself and be yourself: you act less altruistically, less happy, less
inviting.
And not only that, it’s so easy to
not only feel excluded and isolated, but to exclude and isolate others. I mean
think about it, how many people can you invite to go to the library with you?
But with that said, it’s so hard for someone to not feel like she isn’t wanted
there since you didn’t think to invite her.
On top of stressors in the mind, It’s
overcrowded. Crowds are assessed usually by the number of people,
the density or number of people per area, the gestalt principle in terms of
groups, and time spent in this aforementioned crowd. The thing about this is
all of these are at an all-time high. There’s 60 girls in the house, you share
a four bathroom stalls and three showers with thirty of them, let alone a tiny
bedroom with three others. And it doesn’t end. For a whole year.
It’s a general feeling of being
overwhelmed, but at the same time it’s your home. While most people’s homes are
a safe space that they can retreat to – a territory of refuge. There is no
control of information, no privacy. Privacy constitutes the extreme restriction
of information, where you can restrict the presence of others, prevents being
overwhelmed with new information and a very low rate of change. This is
virtually impossible in a sorority house, which results in a chronic stress that requires
endurance.
However, I’ve learned to look at
the positive sides. I’m lucky enough that I live in a sorority that houses
girls who don’t judge what I wear, how I look when I wake up, or how many times
a day I nap. They are all incredible girls who accept me for who I am. Not only does this reduce some stress to feel like you belong somewhere, but you always feel supported and a part of something. And I think that makes these (mildly abusive) living arrangements all
worth the pressure and stress.
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